How a Very Special Beta Reader Helped Author Ellen Mayer

 Guest Blog by Ellen Mayer
​
All picture books are works of collaboration. But with Leaves to My Knees, I had an extra-special helper: my young granddaughter. Elise was three-and-a-half years old when I first brought her in as a collaborator. A beta reader for this newly published book, she is now a first grader.
​​

---

---

The Math Makes Sense
 Leaves to My Knees is a playful STEM story about a little girl, Camille, who is determined to rake a pile of leaves all the way up to her knees to jump in. In the story I wanted to demonstrate how young children, before they use formal units of measurement like a ruler, measure by comparing sizes with their own bodies in everyday activities.
 
Elise at age three-and-a-half helped me “test out” the use of the math ideas on measurement and comparing sizes in my polished draft. As we raked leaves together in the backyard, I slipped in story character Camille’s mathematical thinking. How about raking a pile all the way up to your knees? I asked. The prospect not only delighted Elise, but the thinking felt true and natural to her, and soon she was chatting about the progress of the pile up her legs, just like story character Camille. She was also interested in comparing the size of her little toy rake against the big grown-up rake of her grandfather. For this young child, the math in the story made sense. 

---

Clarification Is Needed 
In the fall of 2019, I submitted the manuscript to the publisher. After I signed a contract for the book in the spring of 2020, Elise began to help me with revisions. While zoom readings during the beginning of the pandemic meant the loss of the lap, this technology did afford me a clear view of Elise’s four-year-old face, and I was able to make note of her expressions and body language as I read the text to her. Before the reading, I said: 

Elise, there are no pictures yet. You’ll just have to imagine them for now. But I’ll read you the words. 
She listened intently as I read through the entire text.
What do you think? I asked.
GOOD! she proclaimed.
​
Even without the art, the story kept her attention – and elicited smiles.
 
But I noticed one point where Elise furrowed her brows. When Camille sets out to rake leaves all the way up to her knees, she hoists her rake up onto her shoulder and does so “Because I mean business.” 
Elise was clearly drawing a blank at the idiom.

Is “I mean business” kind of confusing? Should I change that a bit? I asked.
Yeah.
How about if I say: “Because I am serious­­­­­­­­­––I mean business!”
That’s good, she said.

Of all the idioms in the story, that one needed a little explication for this four-year-old.
​

Reconsider a Character 
Months later, a PDF arrived from publisher Star Bright Books with illustrator Nicole Tadgell’s full-color art in it. After reading it aloud to Elise, my beta listener paused thoughtfully and asked:
 
You know, Mimi, Jayden doesn’t say anything. How come?
 
That gave me pause. She found it odd that the goofy and playful two-year-old brother Jayden didn’t say anything. I never deliberately intended for him to be silent. Hmmmm.
 
My publisher was getting the files ready for the printer, but I had to email the editorial team.
 
If it's not too late, I have a suggestion for one more text edit. This suggestion is prompted by a comment made by my granddaughter when I read her the story recently. She pointed out – with some concern – that Jayden doesn't say anything in the story.
 
I suggested that we have Jayden join in with Daddy when he cheers Camille on with a GO! as she readies herself to jump into her leaf pile, now up to her knees.
 
Star Bright Books concurred. One of the editors wrote back:
 
It’s always fascinating to learn what children can see that adults don’t. Thank you, Elise, now Jayden has his own “voice.”
   

A Starred Review  
I learned that the reception of the story only improved with repeated readings.

I watched my granddaughter sitting on the sofa beside her grandfather as he read aloud from the pages of the PDF, her face passing through a wide range of emotions as Camille suffers ups and downs in her leaf-raking project. When they got to the page where Camille steps into her hard-earned knee-high leaf pile, confirming that it indeed reaches to her knees, and shouts “TA-DA!”,
​
Elise sprang up on the sofa and raised her hands high above her head in victory, just like Camille, and shouted joyfully:
 
TA-DA!
 
Months later, she insisted that she had “requested” that Camille say “TA-DA” back in the editorial stage. But then, that’s what happens in collaboration, isn’t it? We often forget who contributed what.
 
When she was six years old and a rising first grader, Elise wrote out her review.

To help her elaborate on her stickies, I said I wanted to “interview” her about each page. With much eagerness and solemnity, she pulled up a chair next to mine. As we slowly examined each page I asked her what she thought and she provided detailed feedback. She loved what the kids were wearing (it’s a Stegosaurus hood on Jayden), Jayden was so funny, her favorite image was the cover because Camille looks so happy.
 
Elise identified with Camille, and she thought her peers would, too. They would understand how Camille feels and they’d feel the same way in that situation.
 
Like, it’s a good book because it’s kind of like you’d be if you were Camille… I think the kids in my kindergarten class would’ve liked the book because it’s like them.
​

---

Ready to Read
 Soon after Elise started first grade, I had a surprise for her. It was the “F&G”, the folded and gathered advance pages of the book, before it was bound. It was a glossy splash of fall color, all ready to read, with real pages to turn. She was the person I most wanted to share it with. I jumped right in and started reading.
 
After several pages, she put her hand over mine.
She had a surprise for me, too.
 
STOP, MIMI! she said. Let me read. I’ll read this page.
Since I couldn’t see very well through my tears, I let her take over.
 
The book had come far in those last three years.
And so had Elise.

---

Lessons Learned From a Young Beta-Reader 
Quite apart from the joy our journey together afforded me, getting reactions from a real child helped my writing process:

1. As we enacted story concepts out in the world, and later shared the text and then images, I felt some validation that the story was working on a fundamental level.
2. Sharing also helped me strengthen the text with some key edits ranging from word choice to character presentation.
3. Finally, involving my granddaughter over a period of time as the project developed gave me a glimpse of how a child at different ages might interact with this book. While the five-year-old let out a cheer along with the main character, the six-year-old learning to read was also buoyed by the repetition and assonance in the text.

 
Each child and each book process is unique. For myself in this case, I came away with some thoughts about how to incorporate a young child into the making of a picture book:

1. Getting feedback on what was working and not working when my granddaughter was three required starting with careful observation of her behaviors as I read the story aloud. A very different process than that with an older reader child for a beta test of a middle grade novel! And zoom was my friend here.
2. However, when she was an older six, my child collaborator enjoyed fielding questions about her responses to the book.
3. I think allowing Elise to interact with the emerging book in ways that were developmentally appropriate and driven by her (coloring! cutting!), added to her excitement about and engagement in our collaborative process.

 You will never sell a book by claiming that your grandchild loves it, but working with a young reader in your family to critically evaluate your manuscript can make it stronger and help it find publishing success. I hope the collaboration I enjoyed with my granddaughter, as I worked on Leaves to my Knees, makes you think about using your own young beta-reader to improve your work.

---

Leaves to My Knees, illustrated by Nicole Tadgell, and published by Star Bright Books in October 2022, is Ellen Mayer’s ninth book for children and her third math-infused one. Before focusing on writing for children, Ellen was an education researcher at Harvard’s Graduate School of Education, studying family engagement in young children’s learning, and an early literacy specialist home visitor with the Cambridge Public Schools in Massachusetts. To learn more about Ellen and her various books for children, visit her website at www.ellenmayerbooks.com. To learn more about illustrator Nicole Tadgell visit her website at ​http://nicoletadgell.art/.

---